They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
