The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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