I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
