If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
