its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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