pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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