Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
