My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
