Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize