I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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