I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
