he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
