i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
