I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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