Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
