In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
