I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
