someone owes me an orgasm
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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