It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
