I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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