Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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