We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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