I just made out with a guy for $7.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I need water and some morals
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
