I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
