i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
