Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
