it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
