Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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