Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
