woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
