YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
