I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
