Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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