How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
