I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
