he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
