Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Randomize
