saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
