FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
