I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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