her vagine was all disorganized.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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