p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
