she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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