Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I have post one night stand depression
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