allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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