yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
