I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
