WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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