I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
