Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
